A young facebook friend asked an honest question about Nathaniel last week, “Could he possibly die, Kim?”

I had posted information about a doctor’s appointment and diagnosis, a newly found hole between the Nathaniel’s upper heart chambers. The question was genuine and filled with concern. I crafted an answer that tried to delicately balance between the truth of mortality rates for children with a tracheotomy and trusting in God.

The question has stayed on my mind. It has taken me back twenty-five years to a hot June night in 1990. I shifted between nestling against Rich’s chest with his arm wrapped around me and rolling onto my right side away from him. He would have slept soundly through my tossing until I deliberately woke him up.

“Will she die?” I asked.

Nathaniel was scheduled for hand surgery the last week in September. He was diagnosed last spring with "Thumb in the Plane of the Hand" on his right hand. It is exactly what it sounds like - his right thumb is in the same plane as his other fingers on his hand. He does not have thumb opposition with the right hand and the web space between the thumb and index finger is not as deep or wide as it needs to be. The finger painting photo above shows the abnormality pretty well. Consequently Nathaniel's grip with his right hand is very different. He tries to hold things between his index and middle finger using the thumb and index as a claw. Frequently he initiates play or grasping with his right hand and then transfers to his left. More often he just lets his right hand rest and uses his left as the photo below, taken last week in the St. Louis Children's Zoo, shows.